A Word, Please: You and I trip ourselves up when we try too hard

“Since I gave up hope, I feel much better.” The slacker attitude of this once-popular bumper sticker has gone the way of Lehman Brothers and pension plans. But if we apply the same idea to grammar, the message is timeless: Since I gave up hope, I talk much better.

Native English speakers have an innate understanding of grammar and usage. The stuff that naturally rolls off our tongues is flawless most of the time. Yes, we make mistakes. But if you think about how often we get grammar right, it’s pretty impressive.

But that’s when we’re not trying. When we try, a funny thing happens: Sometimes our efforts cause mistakes.

Take “whomever.” This pronoun and its cousin “whom” are required only in formal contexts. You can never go wrong by replacing them with the less formal “whoever” and “who.” When you choose to use them — when you signal that you’re going to speak formally — you can go very wrong. In fact, people seem to get “whomever” wrong more often than not.

Here’s an example: “I will hire whomever I believe will work hardest.” Because our pronoun is in position to be the object of the verb “hire,” people think the object pronoun “whomever” is correct here. It’s not. The object of “hire” is not a single word but a whole clause. Within that clause is the verb phrase “will work.” That verb needs a subject: whoever.

Don’t see what I mean? Try substituting the subject pronoun “he” and the object pronoun “him” in the clause. Is it “I believe he will work hardest” or “I believe him will work hardest”? Clearly, it’s “he.” That’s how we know that the subject pronoun “whoever” and not the object “whomever” is correct in our sentence.

A simple rule: Whenever your pronoun is positioned as the object of one verb and the subject of another, the subject form wins. Always.

“I feel badly” is another error caused by trying too hard. People figure that because adverbs modify verbs, the adverb “badly” is correct in this sentence and the adjective “bad” is wrong. Not so. Linking verbs including “be,” “seem,” “appear,” “taste” and “feel” don’t follow the same rules. These verbs take adjectives, not adverbs.

That’s why you say “This coffee tastes bad” instead of “This coffee tastes badly” and “He seems nice” instead of “He seems nicely.”

You could argue that it’s idiomatic to use “I feel badly.” But if you’re using it because you believe it’s grammatically superior to “I feel bad,” that’s just wrong.

“And I” may be the most common hypercorrection. People think that it’s always more proper than “and me.” So they say things like “This is just between you and I” and “It just wasn’t the right house for John and I.” Big mistake. Though these may be idiomatic, the grammatical forms require “and me.”

The rule is that if it’s a subject of a verb, it’s “and I.” If it’s an object, it’s “and me.” Here’s a foolproof test: If your sentence would work with the subject pronoun “we,” use “and I.” If it would work with the object pronoun “us,” use “and me.” So would you say “This is between we” or “This is between us”? Clearly, it’s “us.” That’s how you know that “between you and me” is grammatical.

Most people who think they know the difference between “less” and “fewer” don’t. They labor under the false belief that “fewer” is for countable things like bottles, shoes and dollars and that “less” is for mass nouns like water, courage and money. Not quite.

The real difference is that “less” modifies singular nouns and “fewer” modifies plurals. So you’re right to say the express lane is for 10 or fewer items because “items” is plural. But if you take one item out of your cart, you have one less item, not one fewer item, because “item” is singular.

JUNE CASAGRANDE is the author of “The Best Punctuation Book, Period.” She can be reached at [email protected].