Commentary: The power of a compliment is truly amazing
It’s nice to be nice. And easy. And contagious.
Just a smile (not maniacal), hello or nod will do the trick. And if you’re feeling really nice, a sincere compliment or offer to help or listen can be transforming for you and the recipient.
It’s also what you don’t do that can serve as a good deed. Don’t be argumentative, judgmental or arrogant. Especially not intolerant and impatient.
Notice I didn’t use the word money yet. It’s great to be charitable, but your actions are as important and financially doable.
I just received a phone call from a woman I sat near in a recent class. I had to drop out several sessions early because of a scheduling conflict. She tracked me down to make sure I was OK.
Although I only knew her a few weeks, and our paths will probably never cross again, I was so touched by her interest. It was such a small gesture on her part, but so gratifying to me. Thanks, Lily!
This made me think of other instances in which kindness really touched my heart.
In seventh grade, as a shy, awkward tween, I forced myself to try out for the year-end school play. Believe me, I was no Bette Davis, but my drama teacher saw this as an opportunity for me. She gave me a significant part, which raised my self-esteem. Thank you, Mrs. Nash!
Then, as a college student, I took an education class called Art for Elementary School Teachers. We worked in different mediums every few weeks. It was assumed that classroom teachers would be teaching art to their homerooms regularly throughout the year.
On one occasion, when we were working with clay, I made a Buddha. I painted it gold and thought it was perfect. The following Monday, after a four-day beach vacation, my professor walked in with a large, flat rock on which to put my sculpture. I was aghast, as well as appreciative.
Despite having hundreds of students, he took the time to find something that would enhance my work. His kindness served as an example of a thoughtful person and dedicated educator. Thank you, Mr. Jones!
As a former school teacher myself , I can attest to the power of a compliment. On every piece of writing, I gave a comment in addition to a grade. “You’re a budding author.” “Your story kept me in suspense.” “This is your best piece of writing this year. Keep up the good work.”
Sometimes it was a stretch to find an uplifting comment, but I knew the result could be life-changing for the student. Which it was on several occasions.
So, if I ever meet you in the future, expect a big, toothy smile and a genuine hello.
TERRI GOLDSTEIN lives in Newport Coast.