My Answer: Mend ties with sister before it’s too late

Q: My sister and I had a falling out a few years ago and haven’t spoken since. But this past Christmas we ran into each other at a party, and she said it was silly for us to keep on like this. However, she also made it plain that she wasn’t going to apologize, and I’m certainly not going to either. What would you say to us?

— Mrs. J.R.

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A: The first thing I’d say is that I see no hope of this situation ever changing as long as you both refuse to apologize. And that’s tragic, because eventually one of you will die and then it will be too late — and whoever is left will live with remorse and regret the rest of his or her days.

What keeps you from apologizing? Perhaps you feel that your sister, and she alone, was in the wrong. But even if that’s true, your estrangement has gone on far too long, and frankly, it almost doesn’t matter now who was responsible.

Jesus said that if we have something against someone, we should “first go and be reconciled to them” (Matthew 5:24).

However, I suspect an even more serious issue is causing this barrier, and that is pride.

None of us ever likes to admit we’re wrong; it’s part of our sinful human nature. But when pride gets in the way, it needs to be faced and confessed to God. When Jesus was asked how often a person ought to forgive someone who had offended him, he replied, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times” — in other words, endlessly (Matthew 18:22).

Turn to Jesus Christ and ask him to forgive all your sins, including your attitude toward your sister. Then ask him to help you reach out in love, and do everything you can to bridge the gap. Years from now, you’ll be glad you did.

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Q: I think I’ve gotten involved in a cult, and I don’t know how to get out. I was lonely after my husband died, and cult members were very sympathetic and welcoming. But now our leader says I’ll go to hell if I leave. I’m afraid to leave. What should I do?

— Mrs. E.K.

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A: I’m thankful you realize what you’ve done, and I pray you’ll now have the courage to break free of this group. From what you say, it is indeed a cult, whose leader not only twists the Bible to his own purposes but also controls his followers with an iron grip.

What should you do?

First, realize that God loves you and doesn’t want you to be enslaved by fear and guilt. He loves you so much that he sent his only son, Jesus Christ, into the world to save us and make us part of his family. Only Christ can save us, and when we turn to him in faith and trust, we become part of his family forever. Put your life into his hands, and then rejoice that he loves you and you now belong to him.

Then realize that this cult leader (and the whole group) has no authority over your eternal destiny. Only Christ has that authority, and once you come to him, you don’t need to be gripped by fear any longer. The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.... Whoever has the son has life” (1 John 4:18; 5:12).

Don’t argue with the cult members, and don’t leave this group little by little. Instead, make a clean break, and refuse to have anything further to do with them. Then ask God to lead you to a church where you’ll not only feel welcome, but will also grow strong in your faith.

Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C. 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM; or visit billygraham.org.