My Answer: You are not powerless over spending

Q: I just added up all the credit card slips from our Christmas spending, and I’m really depressed. It’s going to take all year to pay them off. I don’t know why I’m writing, but how did we get in this mess? God must be very disappointed in us.

— Mrs. F.J.

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A: I suspect many feel the same way you do this time of year. It’s far too easy today to spend more than we meant to spend around Christmas, without even realizing it.

But debt can be like a heavy chain wrapping itself around us, burdening us and taking away our freedom. Instead of enjoying the good things God has for us, we end up thinking all the time about our need for money to pay our debts.

Tragically, it also can lead to conflict in our families and even divorce. No wonder the Bible commands us not to take on debt we really can’t afford. The Bible warns, “The borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7).

What should you do? First, take practical steps to pay off your debts, and the sooner the better, since interest rates on credit cards can skyrocket out of control. Make a realistic budget that not only limits your spending but includes repaying the money you owe, and then stick to it. It might even be a good idea to lock up your credit cards and use them only in emergencies.

But the most important thing you can do is to ask God to teach you his lessons through this experience. Why did you overspend? Were you trying to impress people by having the latest technology or giving lavish gifts? Whatever the reasons, learn from this experience, and then ask Christ to take control of your money — and your life.

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Q: My husband and I love each other very much, yet we’re both very stubborn and end up fighting far more than we probably should. Recently, I realized that we were setting a bad example for our children, but what can we do? We can’t change our personalities.

— Mrs. J.Y.

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A: Perhaps you can’t change your basic personalities, but with God’s help you certainly can knock the rough edges off them. And I hope you will, because not only will it help you be a better example to your children, but you’ll also learn to actually enjoy each other’s company.

What can you do? You’ve already taken the first step by admitting you have a problem and need to do something about it. That’s significant, because stubborn people (I’ve noticed) often have a hard time admitting they aren’t always right.

In fact, one reason stubbornness is so damaging is because it blinds us to our own faults. The rebellious people of Jeremiah’s day “did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts” (Jeremiah 7:24).

The most important step you can take, however, is to submit yourselves to Jesus Christ, asking him not only to forgive you but also to come into your lives and change you from within. God loves you, and when Christ’s love invades your life, you’ll be less insistent on having your own way and more concerned about doing his will.

Let John the Baptist’s words become yours: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).

Then make it your goal, with God’s help, to serve one another and humbly help each other. The Bible says, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another” (1 Peter 5:5).

Send queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., or visit billygraham.org.