Kids These Days:

One week from today marks the return to school for children enrolled in the Newport-Mesa Unified School District. Some kids have already started school, in a way, because they have been back to campus to practice for fall sports.

Some parents rejoice at the back-to-school date because it relieves them of the burden of having to keep their kids occupied during the day instead of having teachers and administrators do it for them.

Others, typically the parents of older students, realize they are counting the days until their kids are grown and gone and want to hang on to the summer days for as long as possible.

In the past, I have written back-to-school rules for parents, some brief guidelines to help make the transition easier. Last year, there was particular reaction to one suggestion. That will become this year’s only suggestion for parents. This year, I am adding one for teachers.

To parents, especially those who are sending their kids to school for one of the first few years of their education: One of the best ways to tell your student that their education is a top priority is to make sure that you avoid criticizing school or teachers in front of your child.

You see, in order to handle all of the challenges they face each day and to ensure that they get through the massive curriculum they are mandated to explain, teachers must maintain control of their classroom. This is such an important part of each day that teachers receive special instruction on the subject.

When your child comes home from school and complains about a class, a teacher or anything to do with school, your comment should be something like, “I’ll check into it.”

Then, check into it. Call the school, speak to the principal or teacher, and do whatever you have to do to come to a conclusion.

If, however, you use language that signals to your child that they are automatically right or express outrage before you know all the facts, you are undermining the authority of the people who are charged with the great responsibility of providing your child with the best possible education in the best possible circumstances.

Parents, checking the facts is what you would want done to you if the situation were reversed.

Remember what our kindergarten teacher told my wife and me on the first day of school: “I’ll believe half of what they say about you if you believe half of what they say about me.”

Teachers, most parents are well aware of your desire to help students reach their full potential and achieve as much as possible not only during the time you have them, but in the years that follow as well.

As I have mentioned, there are teachers on both sides of our family, and I know that when one of your students succeeds, you are often as proud as parents.

But you must understand that there are many definitions of success, and not all of them contain the word “college.”

Even in the best high schools in the nation, there are some seniors who choose not to go to college, even though they qualify.

Some of them choose to serve their country by enlisting in the Armed Forces. Some of them want to go overseas on missionary work or help the less fortunate through the Peace Corps. Some of them want to use the amazing technology of the Internet and get started as an entrepreneur.

And for some of them, college is just not attractive — they really would rather just get a job, almost any job, and go to work. For some in this category, this is a financial reality, for they have to help support a family of brothers, sisters and parents.

Teachers, I have asked parents to support you; now I am asking you to support them by telling you something you already know: Your students are wired differently. By mentally putting all of them on the college track, you are sending signals to the ones who choose another path that they have failed.

All of them, from the full-ride scholarship students to the ones who work in a retail store, are your kids. All of them deserve the same respect for the career decisions they make.

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to [email protected] .