Comments & Curiosities:

Is it the Fourth of July already? Really? I don’t understand. Weren’t the holidays like, I don’t know, three months ago? Granted, sometimes weeks and months turn into years before you know it, but I still don’t get it. Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Saturday is America’s birthday, ready or not, and there are peeps to honor, parties to plan and things to blow up. Let’s see, where did we leave off?

We have already done the history of the Fourth — the brutally hot Philadelphia summer of 1776, ratifying the Declaration of Independence on July 2, signing it on July 4 then celebrating with fireworks and a major rager at City Tavern, which is still there by the way. Last year, we paid tribute to that long standing but rarely recognized symbol of this great nation, the most American of foods, except that it’s German, the hot dog — sometimes called a frankfurter, or a wiener, or where I come from — a dog. With that done, I say we next turn our attention to the people who are mentioned a lot but understood a little at this time of year — the Founding Fathers. Who were those guys, what did they do, and most important, what were they thinking wearing those silly clothes and powdered wigs when it was 98 degrees with 89% humidity and no indoor plumbing? First, some terminology.

The “Founding Fathers” usually means the 55 men at the Constitutional Convention of 1787, meaning the people who banged out the Constitution, which is what makes us the envy of the world, along with Oreos. The looser definition of Founding Fathers includes all the men involved in either Continental Congress or the Constitutional Convention or the first representatives and senators, which produces about 200 names. But wait. Were there no Founding Mothers? Unfortunately, there were not. Women had zero opportunity in public life and a pretty grim existence in private life. Not being able to vote was the least of a woman’s problems at the time. Life expectancy for women was 36 years, with the two biggest causes of death being childbirth or fire, thanks to working for hours every day in a long skirt around an open hearth. You could think of Abigail Adams as a wise but hidden Founding Mother, thanks to her constant stream of letters to her terminally cranky husband, John Adams, which he took as sound advice. OK, fine, but that still leaves the question of who the Founding Fathers really were.

The myth is that the Founders were all members of the privileged class — businessmen, farmers and land barons. Not really. A few of them had the bucks, or pounds, for sure, but most of them were middle- to upper-middle-class merchants or farmers, or both. Yes, Washington and Jefferson were both gentleman farmers who were land rich and cash poor, leading a privileged life but also fretting about making ends meet, the ends being supplies, servants and slaves. Aside from George and Tom, there were about 10 others who owned and operated large farms and plantations.

Beyond that, naming occupations gets tricky. Most of the Founders were true Renaissance men, typical of the Age of Enlightenment, of which these were the closing years. It was common to have multiple careers at different points in one’s life or even at the same time. Anyone care to name Benjamin Franklin’s occupation? Neither would I, unless author/inventor /printer/scientist/statesman is an occupation. Most of them were very well educated, way beyond our standards. Almost all could translate Latin and Greek and some were fluent in a number of languages aside from English. Thirty-five of the Founders were qualified to practice law, although only half that number earned their living from it, while a handful were sitting or future judges.

James McHenry, James McClurg and Hugh Williamson were doctors — although I would be very careful about letting a “doctor” of the time touch any part that I really needed. There was one college president, William Johnson, two small farmers, Jacob Broom and William Few, two computer analysts and one Herbalife salesman. The last two aren’t true. I made those up. Thirteen of them were merchants of varied success, six made their living as land speculators and 11 traded in securities. They kept pushing to add “getting bailout” to the Bill of Rights, but no one understood what they were saying. Religion was a major part of their lives, with 18% being Presbyterian; 17% Congregationalist; 4% Quaker; 4% Dutch-German Reformed; 3% Lutheran; 2% Unitarian; 2% Huguenot; 2% Catholic; 1% Calvinist; 1% Methodist, and the winner, by a knockout, at 55% — Episcopalian/Anglican. Oddly enough, with all that, there was only one ordained minister at the Constitutional Convention, Abraham Baldwin of Georgia, although a number of others had studied theology but were never ordained.

And there you have it, my fellow Americans — the Founding Fathers. That just leaves my annual Fourth of July gift to you, which you’ll find at www.njagyouth.org/ Liberty.htm. Make sure you turn up the sound then just touch the night sky above Lady Liberty with your cursor and you will have your own little fireworks show. It’s a blast. Happy birthday, America, you look fabulous, don’t ever change. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at [email protected] .