Four days of fun over

No one kicked kicker Ryan Succop out of Newport Beach.

The most celebrated kicker probably since Lou “The Toe” Groza had to leave for the NFL Rookie Symposium in Florida.

The four-day trip won’t be as fun as the four days spent under the nickname Mr. Irrelevant.

Succop hasn’t come close to reaching the Hall of Fame status of Groza, a member of the NFL’s 1950s All-Decade Team. Somehow, Succop managed to have people throw him a legendary party for almost every day out of the week.

Succop couldn’t even win a college award named after Groza while at the University of South Carolina.

The best college football place-kicker wins the Lou Groza Award. Since Succop failed to claim it, the kind folks involved with Irrelevant Week XXXIV made up for it.

Irrelevant Week honored him with its own trophy.

The Lowsman Trophy is Irrelevant Week’s answer to the coveted Heisman Trophy. The two are complete opposites.

The Heisman is in stiff-arm mode.

The Lowsman has fumblitis.

The Lowsman fits Succop because any kicker trying to run with the ball is prone to coughing it up. The Kansas City Chiefs aren’t counting on the last player selected in the NFL Draft to turn into the next Priest Holmes or Larry Johnson.

The Chiefs plan to let the real football players score the touchdowns. Succop wants to kick the extra points and field goals.

The way the Chiefs offense has struggled, expect many field goal attempts in the upcoming season. Last year, they averaged 18.2 points per game, 26th best out of 32 teams.

The 256th pick has a legit shot to make it in Kansas City. Marshall Faulk offered Succop some advice during his in-studio appearance at the NFL Network in Los Angeles Wednesday.

“Keep your mouth shut,” Faulk said on-air during the show “Total Access.”

Someone reminded Succop of the line coming from one of the greatest versatile running backs in NFL history. Succop laughed it off Thursday at the final bash celebrating the 22-year-old.

The name of the event was “Suck It Up With Succop” at an Irish pub in Newport Beach. The more people drank, the more they yelled, “Suck-up!”

“Suck-up” is the correct way to pronounce Succop. The headline writers in Kansas City are going to have fun whenever Succop misses a crucial field goal.

Fans following the Mr. Irrelevant festivities already felt sorry for Succop.

“That last name’s gotta suck,” said Anna-Karin Tollin, a Swede, who identifies herself as a die-hard fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.

“But I guess if Succop was more of a suck-up, he might not have been drafted dead last.”

Expect more trash talking if Succop gets on the field in Week 3 when the Chiefs play in Philadelphia on Sept. 27.

Kathy Succop said she plans to attend her son’s games. The Philadelphia one might be a bad idea. Philly fans can be brutal.

Like every good mother, Kathy has stuck by her son throughout. She was there when University of South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier visited the Succop’s home in Hickory, N.C. to recruit Succop in high school.

“He flew into our little Hickory airport and we picked him up,” Kathy said. “I made all kinds of food and he didn’t eat a thing. He’s very health conscious.

“Just [made] hors d’oeuvres, it was the middle of the afternoon. He got there before Ryan even got home from school. So I didn’t know what to make [of Spurrier not eating].”

Some coaches just don’t trust kickers and their mom’s cooking.