KIDS THESE DAYS:

My 15 minutes of fame came 12 years ago when I was self-promoting a parenting book I’d written.

I was on dozens of talk radio shows, perhaps hundreds. Most of them were by phone from home or from the office of the business I owned at the time.

And along the way, I did a little television, too, including a one-hour appearance on a CNN program during which I debated the editor of a magazine for mothers who wanted to work and be a mom at the same time.

I preferred talk radio years ago because there were more opportunities to get into deeper discussions and not have to stick to a rigid format.

But radio was also very competitive, and the dark side was ugly. When I got to peek behind the curtain, it was a turn-off.

This view was supported by a stint working for a popular talk radio host a couple of years later.

What I learned kept me from caring much about talk radio over the past 10 years. And I certainly was not going to add fuel to the fire by calling in to any of them.

Ten days ago, I changed my mind and called the Al Rantel show on KABC-AM (790).

I called because Rantel was in the middle of a segment about “sexting,” a new form of communication in which teens send nude or partially nude pictures of themselves through their cell phones.

In an age of instant, worldwide communication, not only is sexting stupid, for those images can be posted on the Internet, it may also be illegal. Consider these events, all of which happened last year:

A 17-year-old boy in Wisconsin was charged with possessing child pornography after he posted naked pictures of his 16-year-old ex-girlfriend online.

Authorities arrested four Alabama middle school students for exchanging nude photos of themselves.

In Rochester, N.Y., a 16-year-old boy faces up to seven years in prison for forwarding to friends a nude photo of a 15-year-old girlfriend.

Rantel was wondering where the parents of these kids were and why they had not taken steps to supervise their behavior.

I called because I wanted him to know that there are parents in the U.S. who do take their roles seriously and do supervise their kids, all the way through to adulthood; that this is not a nation of “teens gone wild.”

On the air, I told Rantel that my wife and I drew the line many years ago by telling our kids that their rooms were subject to searches at any time and that when they got their cell phones, it was made clear to them that inappropriate use could cause us to take it away.

(By the way, I have never checked my daughter’s room and poked around my son’s room only once and found nothing objectionable.)

Coincidentally, that night, I happened to have my son’s phone with me after one of his grades dipped slightly.

I told Rantel that if our kids go to a party, they know that they will have to let us know who will be attending and what type of adult supervision will be there.

I said that my relationship with my kids was very good — not perfect but very good.

Rantel was both surprised and pleased and commended me for what we have done.

But that’s not why I called. I believe that my wife and I are not the exception; that most parents have boundaries for their kids, but unfortunately the only parents who make the news are the ones who allow their kids to rule the roost.

Those families make the news because they are the exceptions. I see the other families, the ones with rules, all over Costa Mesa and Newport Beach.

Those parents struggle with determining the right amount of freedom to give their children, which is usually based on the level of responsibility kids show.

Teens struggle with wanting to be with their parents, whom they love, and wanting to be with their peers. In the end, most families quietly figure it out.

Advancing technology has thrown many parents a curve, but I am convinced that in the end, what has always mattered will guide them through the sexting or other new tech issues. In the end, it is the character of both sides that counts.

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to [email protected].