COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

If mycology is your thing, this is it, your ship has come in, call everyone you know.

Of course, that assumes you know what mycology means, which I did not, until I read about wildlife biologist Gregg Miller, who is an expert on mushrooms.

Yes, Virginia, mycology means the study of mushrooms. Gregg Miller lectures about the spongy little things at the Environmental Nature Center in Newport Beach, which makes him a mycologist. I like mushrooms, pretty much.

They don’t keep me awake at night like some other things do, but I like them — in a salad, sautéed as a side dish, in an omelet maybe.

But the only mushrooms that I know come in a blue Styrofoam box, shrink-wrapped, with a little label.

Gregg Miller not only knows all about mushrooms, but how to find them in the wild, which means outdoors, au naturel, no box, no label, no nothing, just like nature made them.

And for people who like to do that sort of thing, I guess this is high season.

“This recent rain that we’ve had over this weekend and these past days bodes really well for the Environmental Nature Center,” Miller said. “To me, this is wonderful weather. I think we’ll see a lot of mushrooms fruiting.”

Don’t worry. Mushrooms don’t mind being told they’re fruiting. That’s because mushrooms are really a blossom that pops up at the end of a long fungus vein that grows on a tree or on the ground or under it.

The idea of trekking through the forest primeval, or the Environmental Nature Center anyway, looking for wild mushrooms would be pretty cool, except for those people who are allergic to mushrooms, then there is the whole poison mushroom thing. I am highly allergic to being poisoned.

Stories about poison mushrooms have been around forever, including all those fairy tales with the wicked witch who has more poison mushrooms than Martha Stewart has portabellos. If I decided to go mushroom trekking, I would definitely want Gregg along to know what to munch on, or not.

As it turns out, mushroom hunters in quest of the wild things need to be cautious, not fearful, but above all, informed.

According to the UC Berkeley Health Services website, there are some 5,000 types of mushrooms in the United States of America.

That’s a lot of mushrooms, considering there are only 50 states. Of those 5,000, about 100 will make you wish you’d never seen a mushroom, or eaten one anyway, and less than a dozen of those 100 will make you see the really bright light and your uncle who died when you were 4.

Not bad odds, but still and all, if your brain is not 100% sure which is which, it shouldn’t be telling your hand to put it in your mouth.

Mushrooms from the group called Amanitas are the deadliest, and even the names are scary. There is the “Amanita Death Cap” and the “Amanita Destroying Angel.”

Well, alrighty then. You guys go ahead, and I’ll meet you back at the car.

I found an old saying on the subject that’s worth remembering: “There are old mushroom hunters and there are bold mushroom hunters. But there are no old, bold mushroom hunters.”

For people who spend a little too much time thinking about mushrooms, there is actually a Mycological Society of America, with branches all around the country, including here.

Recipes? Holy Emeril, there are more mushroom recipes out there than Carter has little pills, although I’ve yet to meet anyone who knows who Carter is and why he has so many little pills.

Sauteed, stuffed, baked, breaded, marinated, seasoned, chopped, sliced and diced, but even before you do any of that, you’re going to have to decide between brown, white, portabello, shiitake, oyster, morel and lots more.

Finally, being an incurable murder mystery fan, the most interesting mushroom reference I found was a bestseller whodunit by Virginia Smith called “Murder by Mushroom.”

A nice lady named Jackie Hoffner brings her famous casserole to a church social, of all places, but someone slips some poison mushrooms into it which sends another member of the congregation to her greater reward sooner than she had planned.

In a adventure that would make Angela Lansbury proud, Jackie has to go on the lam and play amateur sleuth to find the real murderer and vindicate herself, to say nothing of her casserole, which no one will ever touch with a 10-foot pole again if she doesn’t find the mushroom murderer.

Is that it? I think so — portabellos, the Amanita Death Cap, Jackie Hoffner’s killer casserole and the Environmental Nature Center in Newport Beach. If you’re just not sure, check with the Mycological Society of America. They know this stuff. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at [email protected].