KIDS THESE DAYS:

For new readers, it is important to note that a tradition at this time each year in this space has been to make predictions for the coming year.

The tradition started nine years ago when I was standing in line at the supermarket and noticed several magazines and tabloids with their annual “year in review” stories.

“That’s cheap and easy,” I thought. “The hard part is telling readers what’s going to happen in the coming year.”

So with pinpoint accuracy and no apologies, here are my predictions for 2008:

The city of Newport Beach will build its new city hall not on the peninsula and not near the library, but on an island out on the Pacific Ocean. Travelers to and from the airport island will be taken by the dory fleet near the Newport Beach Pier. Only one carry-on piece of baggage will be allowed. Anyone exceeding the carry-on limit will be forced to row out to the airport.

On Valentine’s Day, Costa Mesa Mayor Allan Mansoor will reveal the real reason he wishes to step down as mayor. “I love this city and this seems an appropriate day to come clean,” he will say.

This year, Costa Mesa will foster an extremist group of anti-fundraisers who will be fed up with the annual sale of fireworks in the city.

Frustrated with their inability to ban fireworks, this group of irate homeowners and saloonkeepers will achieve the goal of banning the sale of “Silly String” which, as any parent knows, is far more toxic, far more costly and far more dangerous than the so-called “safe and sane” fireworks sold for a few days each July.

In 2008, the traffic challenge at Newport and Harbor Boulevards will be resolved not by a tunnel or a bridge but by the development of a “pay to play” program, similar to the one being used in London and being promoted in New York by Mayor Michael Bloomberg. The program will charge all non-commercial vehicles $20 to go into or out of each city through this intersection. Violators will be forced to shop in the nearby Triangle Square shopping center.

Also in 2008, restaurateur David Wilhelm, responsible for Costa Mesa’s “Savannah” restaurant (formerly known as “Chat Noir”) and “French 75” in Fashion Island, will take over the prime waterfront property that was the location of the wonderful “Cano’s” and “Windows on the Bay” restaurants. Unable to decide on a theme and desiring to appeal to the largest possible audience, Wilhelm’s new enterprise will be called, “Let’s Eat.”

This year, the Newport-Mesa Unified School District, realizing that Newport Harbor High School has nearly twice the enrollment of Estancia High School in Costa Mesa, will begin a busing program from Newport Harbor to Estancia. As a result, over the next two elections, the school board will have an entirely new panel.

In July, the city of Newport Beach will vote to permanently ban all rehab facilities of any size from its borders. Two weeks later, the ban will be overturned due to the complaints of many residents who dislike traveling to Costa Mesa and Santa Ana.

This year, the Segerstrom family will finally be recognized nationally for what they have achieved within our borders and in the surrounding communities. That is, they will have been measured pound for pound as the most prolific, influential and visionary group of people ever to establish a footprint anywhere in the country.

One week later, Irvine Co. CEO Donald Bren will announce a change of a nearby city’s name from Irvine to “Brenville.”

To all of you, I wish you a healthy and prosperous new year. More important, I wish you the ability to laugh.

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to [email protected].