COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

What to do, what to do; it’s the same story every year, no?

What to do on New Year’s Eve? Not to worry. We have gathered every last possibility for you, all in one, utterly meaningless place. Don’t thank me. It’s my job.

Basically, you have four choices. Option one: Stay home and lay around like a sloth watching reruns of “Law & Order,” slowly slipping into unconsciousness then coming to just long enough to crawl into bed with midnight still 2 1/2 hours away. This is called the No-Party or the Home-for-the-Holiday Again option.

Option two: The Dinner Party or Party-Party at someone’s home, possibly your own. This is where groups of people are trying their best to make it to midnight, wishing they had stayed home watching reruns of “Law & Order,” slowly slipping into unconsciousness.

Third: The Restaurant/Club option, which includes dinner, silly hats, noisemakers and champagne of undeterminable lineage.

The people-watching is a side benefit of the Restaurant/Club option, with some tables much more interesting than others, depending on the rate of champagne absorption.

Speaking of which, don’t skimp on the bubbly. It’s New Year’s Eve, for heaven’s sake. Get the best you can afford — maybe a Krug Blanc de Blancs if you had a good year, and Cold Duck if you’re a homebuilder.

Lastly, is the Major Public Rager option, such as Las Vegas or Times Square, also called the Whadda-u-nutz? option.

If you don’t have anything lined up for Jan. 1, you could try Paris for New Year’s Eve, where more than a million people stroll the Champs Elysees with champagne and wine glasses in hand, waiting for the Eiffel Tower to go kaboom with a zillion fireworks at the stroke of minuit, which is French for mezzanotte.

If you prefer Dinkelacker to Veuve Clicquot, Berlin turns out more than a million people for a giant fireworks display at the Brandenburg Gate.

And here is a barely interesting note about New Year’s Eve in France and Germany. It’s called “La Saint Sylvestre” in France and “Silvester” in Germany.

That sent me scurrying to the Internet to find out who St. Sylvester was, but it was pointless.

There are a number of St. Sylvester’s, including an early Pope and a St. Sylvester Gozzolini, who I’m guessing was Italian. If you know why the French and Germans both named their New Year’s Eve bash-fest after St. Sylvester, get back to me.

If you’re not up for dusting off that passport and getting all your carry-on creams and liquids in a one-quart Ziploc bag, here are some options closer to home.

If you’re looking for the Major Public Rager, you can try “Carnivale New Year’s Eve” at the Orange County Fairgrounds, which will have a Bourbon Street vibe with live bands, circus acts, a costume contest, free masks and midnight ball drop, all for $75 per reveler.

There’s also “Orange County New Year’s Eve” at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, with a laser light show and a “Big Orange” drop at midnight, with live music by Third Eye Blind, Berlin, The English Beat and my personal favorite — The Psychedelic Furs — all for $55 to $150 a pop.

Terminal generation gap also explains why I probably won’t be going to the Detroit Bar in Costa Mesa for the “7th Annual FutureDisko New Year’s Eve Party,” which will have two rooms of “ electro/disco/soul/punk/ and ’80s music featuring the Acid Girls.”

I must say though, at the end of a long day, is there anything better than a really special wine and some electro/disco/soul/punk/’80s music from the Acid Girls? Not that I know of.

But if you’re serious about going out, my No. 1 pick has to be the Balboa Bay Club, where you are guaranteed a top drawer evening in high style.

You could opt for the black-tie “A Night to Remember” gala in the Grand Ballroom, or a memorable dinner in either The First Cabin or The Bay Club Grill, then finish with a flourish at Duke’s Place jazz club, which not only sizzles but is an incredible value, as in free.

And there you have it. All the options, neatly laid out before you, just waiting for you to say the word — which could be Bonne Année, Gutes Neues Jahr, Feliz Año Nuevo, Buon Capo d’Anno, Happy New Year, just pick one. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at [email protected].