REEL CRITIC:Fictional storylines hurt ‘Bobby’

I’m a huge fan of the television show “The Simpsons.” I frequently watch the evening and late-night reruns even though I’ve seen every syndicated episode dozens of times. At the end of the movie “Bobby,” the first thing I thought of was “The Simpsons” character, Comic Book Guy. In my head, I heard his voice saying, “Worst movie ever.”

“Bobby” actually isn’t the worst movie ever made. That distinction belongs to the Sylvester Stallone movie “Cobra.” “Bobby,” however, is long, slow, dull and full of itself.

It’s hard to say what was going through the mind of Emilio Estevez (who wrote and directed “Bobby”). The movie bills itself as the story of the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles.

Estevez’s script has very little to do with Kennedy’s assassination. It’s more like a very long and pretentious episode of the now-defunct television show “American Dreams.”

Instead of focusing on the historical events surrounding the assassination of Kennedy, Estevez tells the fictional stories of 22 people who are at the Ambassador Hotel that same day. We see these characters face their personal demons and pontificate on the meaning of life. The stilted dialogue tries to be profound and meaningful, but it doesn’t ring true. The characters speak like people reading a film script, not like real people conversing.

When “Bobby” isn’t focusing on completely meaningless events, like the goings-on at the hotel hair salon, it is overwrought with old and tired 1960s clichés. The sequence where two Kennedy volunteers use LSD (that they’ve purchased from hippie drug dealer Ashton Kutcher) is nothing more than an excuse for a rehashed montage of 1960s news footage and using the same rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack that always accompanies these sequences.

The result is the trivialization of the most powerful images of the Vietnam War, the fight for racial equality and the battles in the streets between police riot squads and political protesters. This same montage has been done so many times that the images are losing all meaning.

The cast of “Bobby” is a massive list of big-name Hollywood performers, including Demi Moore, Helen Hunt, Laurence Fishburne, Elijah Wood, Lindsay Lohan, Anthony Hopkins and many others. It looks like the cache attached to RFK’s legacy made this the movie that everyone wanted on their resume. It also looks like Estevez opened his address book and asked all of his friends if they wanted to be in a movie.

One of the most interesting standouts is Sharon Stone. She plays the middle-aged stylist at the hotel’s salon. At first glance, Stone is unrecognizable. Her face reveals the wear and tear of a world-weary woman who has spent the last 30 years drinking, chain-smoking and wearing too much make-up. It’s the first time I’ve seen Stone without all of the glam and glitz. It’s nice to see her in a role where she’s able to show her acting chops.

“Bobby’s” most powerful sequence comes at the end of the film. After the assassination in the hotel kitchen, the scene changes to a montage of clips of Kennedy interacting with ordinary people on the campaign trail. It was an era when the Secret Service gave candidates a lot more freedom to move among people. We see Kennedy addressing people’s dreams and touching their lives. His charisma is overwhelming.

On top of these images, we hear Kennedy deliver a powerful speech full of optimism and hope for a better tomorrow for everyone in America and around the world.

It’s too bad that Estevez didn’t make a movie about the man who delivered that speech. Instead, he invited all of his friends to come on over and make what he hoped would be this year’s “Crash.”

Estevez’s intentions in making this film seem sincere, but unfortunately “Bobby” falls flat. It offers very little that hasn’t been seen before and done better in other films. His heart was in the right place, but as a director and screenwriter, he bit off much more than he could chew.

Anyone who is interested in seeing “Bobby” should wait until it’s on cable.