THE MORAL OF THE STORY:Live better, not bitter

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”

— JEAN BAPTISTE MASSIEU

What causes jealousy? What ugly forms can jealousy take? What do we miss out on or cause others to miss out on because of jealousy? How do we combat jealousy?

Last week a friend, named Teri, asked those questions as part of a talk on jealousy that she gave to a group of women. When she did, I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I heard anybody address something that is so pervasive yet so destructive in our society. Teri shared honestly about her own personal experiences as well as what God had been teaching her about it. The rest of us women offered our thoughts, and together we answered the questions as we all learned about ways to keep this bitter quality from affecting our lives.

I found the following quote by Dolores Hitchens that succinctly summarizes just how undesirable jealousy is: “Jealousy had a taste, all right. A bitter and tongue-stinging flavor, like a peach pit.”

I have only bitten into a peach pit once, and I think anybody who has would agree that once was enough. Unfortunately however, it is easy to nibble our way into a super-sized portion of jealousy in a short amount of time, and to do so repeatedly.

When Teri asked what causes jealousy, our answers included such things as insecurity; ungratefulness; self-focus; fear; materialism; comparison; pain; not appreciating our own gifts and abilities; and lack of trust in God. We decided that some of the ugly forms jealousy takes are criticism, sarcasm, teasing, gossip, passive aggressiveness, manipulation and retaliation.

It is harder to combat jealousy than to succumb to it, but it is certainly possible and clearly desirable.

Teri challenged us to honestly answer whether we are living to please ourselves or to please God.

If however I chose to live to please God, and I focus instead on thanking God for all the wonderful people and blessings I have, my life will be better, not bitter. In fact, instead of having a bitter taste, my life will taste sweet, and will get sweeter and sweeter as my gratitude grows.

Teri also challenged us to love well, to pray for others, to be genuinely happy for others and to not let jealousy fester. When we are jealous, we need to confess it to God and ask him to forgive us, and help us change. There are also times when we need to ask others for their forgiveness.

We need to let our hearts remember the countless things we are grateful for, and we need to thank God. The more we thank him, the more we find we are thankful for. As our gratitude increases, our jealousy decreases and life is better, not bitter.

And you can quote me on that.