THEATER:Mary Benton, from backstage to stardom

Over the last four decades of acting and directing in local community theater, I’ve formed some lasting friendships, and in many cases I’ve had to bid a fond farewell much too soon.

Such a case arrives this weekend when a memorial service will be held for longtime Costa Mesa resident and consummate actress Mary Benton, who recently lost her long battle with cancer.

Mary was one of my closest friends in theater — I cast her in her first play and her last, both for the Irvine Community Theater, where she and her late husband Chuck were backstage backbones in the theater’s early years, Chuck designing and operating the lighting effects and Mary handling props.

She was there in 1970, when the Irvine Community Theater put on its first show, “Come Blow Your Horn,” in which I was involved on stage. When I became the theater’s artistic director two years later, Mary was toying with the idea of auditioning for a play.

I was directing Edward Albee’s “Everything in the Garden,” about a group of suburban housewives who supplement their family income by plying the world’s oldest profession. There are three couples who appear only in the second act, and Mary took a shot at that group.

“I had to squeeze Jack’s [Ogborn, who played her husband] hand so tight I almost broke it just before we went on,” Mary once recalled.

But she soon got over her stage fright — and then some. When we did the show again a decade later, Mary had graduated to the part of the neighborhood madam.

After playing a few more supporting roles, Mary blossomed both in confidence and capability. Among her more memorable early parts were the geisha girl in “Teahouse of the August Moon” and the bride in “Rashomon,” assignments that called for Asian actresses. Mary’s heritage was Filipino.

Throughout the 1970s, ‘80s and ‘90s, Mary made up for lost time in the theater. She played the same mother in two Neil Simon plays (“Brighton Beach Memoirs” and “Broadway Bound”) but always was available for the smaller roles when needed, such as the all-purpose assignment in “Sunday in New York,” which I also staged.

In that show, one of her characters was an unassuming Japanese waitress, and she cracked the audience up each night with her remark to a leading actor, “Where were you Fliday night?” It became a lifetime running gag.

When my 11-year-old daughter, Mindy, performed the title role in my production of “The Bad Seed” in Irvine, Mary took a “minor” part, which she proceeded to make into a major one. She played the drunken mother of Rhoda’s first victim to perfection and chilled the Irvine Community Theater audiences.

Mary and I were “married” twice — in “Harvey” and “Don’t Drink the Water,” both for the Irvine Community Theater — but we had “divorced” by the time our final collaboration came around. I was directing “The Shadow Box” and also playing the role of Brian, and Mary showed up to steal the scene as my boozy “ex-wife.” It was Mary’s last hurrah, and she made it a great one.

Saturday, Mary Benton’s many friends in theater will gather at Fairhaven Memorial Park in Santa Ana to celebrate the life of one of the most talented and best-loved actresses to grace a local theater stage. As one of her closest friends, I’ve been asked to say a few words. I think I just did.