Will the fool survive?

One of the drawbacks of living in one town for a long time is that it becomes more and more difficult to keep a secret. Say you’re me, and you’ve lived in Laguna Beach for 20 years. By the end of that time, how many people in town know you’re a fool?

Family members know what they know, but they tend to keep your brain-locks from the public. If you are in the kitchen putting together a cardboard box in which to mail some books, and you tape both the bottom and the top of the box prior to putting the books inside, your daughter, witnessing this, is unlikely to testify to it because there’s such a thing as family shame.

But once you get out the door and out in the street, you encounter a wider audience, and that’s where the secret gets frayed.

For several years, I’ve tried to hide my mechanical ignorance from my mechanic. Marcel, of Barnhoorn Automotive, knows just about everything there is to know about the modern vehicle, and I don’t. I admire Marcel and want him to think well of me, so I try to act as though I’m not an ignoramus when we meet.

Last week I took my car in because the brake light on the dash was on all the time. I gave Marcel my key and told him the light came on even though (1) the hand brake was off, (2) I seemed to have brake fluid and (3) I wasn’t hearing any squeaking.

“Let’s see what’s going on,” said Marcel. He started the car, looked at the light, opened the hood, checked the fluid and explained that this make of car gets over-sensitive sometimes when the pads are a little worn. He added a smidge of fluid and the brake light went off.

As he dropped the hood, Marcel said I didn’t owe him anything. I was happy, as you might imagine.

I thanked him and was about to get in the driver’s seat when I realized I didn’t have my car key.

So I went up to Marcel and asked, “Do you still have my key?”

He was on his way back to his office and kept going, saying over his shoulder, “It’s in the ignition, Sherwood, that’s why the car’s running.”

And so, in answer to the question, How many people in town know I’m a fool?

I would have to say I don’t know the exact number, but it now includes Marcel.20051028hrimoxkf(LA)