Managing the post-election letdown

Steven Hendlin

Finally, after all the anticipation, the election results are in. But

keep your seat belts fastened, folks, because the frenzied ride isn’t

over yet: Here comes your post-election letdown. Even if your

candidate won, you may be affected, as sometimes the only thing worse

than not getting what you want is getting it.

Political pundits, talking heads of all persuasions and the

electorate all perceived high stakes in this election. All around

town, I heard people concerned about the outcome at national, state

and local levels. With the political sleazebag tactics spiking off

the Richter scale, and the polemics reaching an unusually feverish

pitch, we were reminded repeatedly how our polarized electorate held

our future in their balloting hands.

Whether it was who’s sitting in the Oval Office, the chance of

third-strike offenders being freed from prison or what to do with the

prime Marinapark land on Balboa Island, this time, they told us,

we’re playing for keeps. We’ve been deluged by the media, unable to

escape the message that terrible things can and will happen if the

“wrong” person wins. You know the litany -- the economy, terrorism,

taxes, health care costs, gay marriages, illegal immigrants, Supreme

Court appointees, secure borders, better schools, stronger defense

and preserving Social Security. Not to mention a nasty foreign war,

in which they got the “rockets red glare and the bombs bursting in

air” part right but miscalculated picking up the pieces after the

destruction. The world agrees: We’re between Iraq and a hard place.

Typically, mild-mannered and rational voices from coast to coast

were caught in the fray. They created an uproar, telling us one

candidate was an incompetent cowboy intent on making up for his

father’s lack of follow-through, while the other was into

exaggerating his courage and heroics as he rides on the (mink)

coattails of his fabulously wealthy wife. Many voters have had

definite opinions, while others remained ambivalent. But hardened

voters who have seen it all think the differences between the

candidates are substantial, even if more apparent than actual.

From my view as a psychologist, this looks like the perfect set up

for an emotional crash. Big expectations lead to big disappointments.

If you’ve got a lot invested emotionally in winning and “your”

candidate lost, get ready for your post-election emotional letdown --

and maybe even a short-term depression.

REMEMBER THE NONPOLITICAL THINGS

What can you do to manage your post-election letdown? First,

accept that it is a normal reaction to bitter disappointment,

especially if you care deeply who wins the race and believe that your

own life will be drastically altered by the outcome. Expect to feel

irritation and anger, which, if you are not careful, may be displaced

onto those around you at work and at home. Try to identify this anger

as being related to your disappointment reaction and not something

that is caused by other people.

You may get anxious and feel dread if you believe that your

personal world is going to be negatively impacted because of who won.

And you may even experience a depressive reaction lasting days, weeks

or longer, where you ruminate on the miserable long-term consequences

of the next four years with the “wrong” man.

You may be preoccupied for the next few days or even weeks with

election-related thoughts, doomsday scenarios, disgust for the system

or fantasies about wanting to escape to Canada or the South Pacific.

Let all of these thoughts and fantasies come and go, not feeling the

need to obsess on any of them. Remember that having the thought does

not make it real.

Challenge your all-or-nothing thinking that the next four years

will determine the future of the country or deeply impact the rest of

the world. It’s rarely been true before -- only when great leaders

collided with the destiny of circumstance and opportunity -- and it

won’t be true now. Recall that the three branches of government were

created to ensure checks and balances and that many attenuating

factors limit the power of one man or administration to dictate

policy.

We know that no matter who’s in office, decisions may always lead

to unintended consequences. The spiraling out of control of the Iraq

war is but one example of this doctrine. Also, keep in mind that our

system tends to force consensus and slows down change so that wild

political swings are unlikely.

Your individual life will most likely not be irrevocably shaped by

the decisions of the winning candidate for the next four years, no

matter how the pundits try to convince you with their rhetoric. Keep

your perspective by remembering the nonpolitical things in your life

that really matter.

When you find your thoughts off into the future and filled with

dread, bring yourself back to the present and go about the daily

business of finding meaning in your own life and the lives of those

you care about.

To manage your post-election letdown, make sure you get enough

sleep, watch your diet and don’t forget to exercise to help deal with

your anger, irritation, anxiety and despair. Lastly, make your

thoughts and feelings about the election known to others by writing

letters, talking to friends and family and doing your best to gain

the larger perspective that this too, shall pass.

* STEVEN HENDLIN is a clinical psychologist in private practice in

Newport Beach and the author of “Overcoming the Inheritance Taboo.”

You can reach him at https://www.hendlin.net. He lives in Corona del

Mar.