Being a good listener

“Prayer is a two-way conversation with God. It involves listening,

attentiveness and communion. It is actually enjoying the privilege of

God’s presence.”

-- DR. DEBORAH NEWMAN

I was in a study group of women, and we talked about listening to

other people as well as to God.

We felt that a good listener has clear eye contact, shows concern

and asks good questions. He or she doesn’t interrupt, appear

distracted or seem to be formulating responses before the speaker

finishes. Good listeners are not defensive or judgmental, but express

thoughts or views if asked.

We all thought that good listeners could be trusted to keep our

confidences. The group leader, Anne, had us talk about ways we try to

listen to God. She wrote the responses on a large white board and ran

out of room before the room ran out of suggestions! The words

“discipline,” “quiet” and “discernment” were some of the first on the

list. Anne said that the definition of the Latin word for discernment

means to separate from. We discussed what we had to separate from,

and what some obstacles are that keep us from hearing God more

clearly.

We agreed that distractions run the gamut from family and friends

to phones, computers, cars and cooking. Selfishness, fear and

laziness can keep us from listening to God, too. Another obstacle was

busyness. I chuckled to myself because the more I try to listen to

God, the more I feel that he has told me to stop being so busy. One

day, I had a long list of errands and, as I drove off, I prayed that

God would help me accomplish all of them.

Something didn’t feel right inside, though, and I sensed that God

wanted me to drive back home. I turned around and drove back to my

driveway. I sat there awhile being quiet, but then drove off slowly

again. I tried to listen to God, and felt the need to go back home

again, so I drove around the block, parked and went inside.

I’m sure my neighbors were wondering what I was doing. When I went

inside, I felt like I’d responded to God’s prompting. I sat on the

couch, closed my eyes and felt God asked me to just sit quietly with

him.

I opened my eyes and gazed at tall green trees swaying gently

against a backdrop of blue skies dotted with white powder puff

clouds. I thanked God for being so creative and for the beauty of the

day. I sat a while longer and thanked him for who he is and for some

of his character qualities.

I told God I appreciated that he is always the perfect listener,

and it seemed like he thanked me for choosing to listen to him that

afternoon.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at

[email protected] or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.