Soul Food -- Michele Marr

Michele Marr

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever

things are just -- whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any

virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things -- and the God

of peace shall be with you.” Philippians 4:8

Truth, honesty, justice -- plain old virtue of any sort -- my mother

thinks they have gotten as scarce as hen’s teeth. Everybody is killing

each other she tells me. Nobody is polite anymore.

I tell her she’s overstating things. She goes on. Kids plagiarize

reports. Politicians get away with murder. People will steal anything

that isn’t nailed down. Look at Enron and Anderson. Who cares about

honesty anymore?

“SpongeBob SquarePants,” I tell her. That’s who.

“Bob, who?” she asked.

That’s just what I would have said a few weeks ago. I’m a real

latecomer to SpongeBob and the under-the-sea town of Bikini Bottom. And

if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are too.

I’d caught some of the hype from time to time. Compelling cartoon. A

Nickelodeon blockbuster. An almost cult-like following, 50 million

viewers strong with 30 million between the ages of 2 and 10 and 20

million, ages 11 and well, well above. What stuck with me, though, was

the Bikini Bottom -- Bikini Bottom as in the Pacific atoll.

When I heard that SpongeBob SquarePants, however cool, lives

underwater, I passed. Tell me I shouldn’t be living in Surf City, but I

like to breath air. And I prefer my heroes to breath air, too.

Then a few weeks ago I went to spend some time with my goddaughter,

Vallee. She was in the family room with her two sisters. When I walked in

nobody moved. Nobody blinked. Each girl was smiling ear-to-ear, watching

the TV.

“Oh, it’s the sponge guy,” I said.

“SpongeBob SquarePants,” the girls cheered.

They all laughed and Vallee pulled on my arm until I joined her on the

couch. SpongeBob, an anthropomorphic square yellow sponge who wears brown

pants, and his pink starfish friend Patrick had just defrosted the evil

ManRay Man who had been in the deep freeze for the good of Bikini Bottom

and all seakind.

Why? Because ManRay Man had promised to be good. And SpongeBob -- ever

trusting, honest, truthful and just -- is quick to believe the best of

everyone. But once he was thawed, it took ManRay Man all of two deep evil

breaths to say he had lied.

In a heartbeat, SpongeBob had a SquarePants plan. He and Patrick --

with the helpful reinforcement of a tickle belt already locked on the

evil one’s waist during a previous episode -- would train ManRay Man to

be good.

And so they did. Ruthless tickling is as violent as violence gets in

the wacky happy world of Bikini Bottom.

Later, when I met Vallee’s mother for coffee and told her with full

SpongeBob enthusiasm about watching the episode with the girls, she

moaned.

“You don’t like SpongeBob SquarePants,” I asked.

“No it’s like body-sounds humor,” she said and wrinkled her nose.

“Its not,” I said.

It’s about being kind and thoughtful. It’s about honesty and fairness.

It’s about manners and civility. It’s about being unruffled and pleasant

to others even when they are inconsiderate of you. It’s about not

returning evil for evil. Sometimes, I insisted, you find virtue in the

most unlikely places.

Vallee’s mom admitted she had never really watched a full episode. But

she still gave me the eye. I could see she was more skeptical than

SpongeBob could ever fathom.

“It true,” I said.

And, really, it is.

* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer and graphic designer from

Huntington Beach. She has been interested in religion and ethics for as

long as she can remember. She can be reached at o7

[email protected]