Tales of time gone by

Deepa Bharath

Joan Nilsson held the antique silver pin in one hand as she wrote on a

sheet of white paper.

The ornate pin had a subdued golden edge and a prayerful poem written

on it in tiny letters.

The piece of jewelry was often worn by Nilsson’s grandmother, who had

lived all her life in the same house in London and had worked as a

scullery maid since she was 9.

“When we lived in London, we saw my grandmother quite a bit,” recalled

Nilsson, now 81. “She always dressed the same way. She wore a long skirt,

a blouse and this pin.”

Her grandmother died in 1945, but in Nilsson’s mind the memories are

still fresh. She brought in the pin as a piece from her past to the “Life

Stories” class she goes to every week.

The class, offered by Coastline Community College at the Costa Mesa

Senior Center, teaches participants how to package and present their

lives for posterity.

It helps them narrate parts of their lives they want their children

and grandchildren to know about.

Betty Edwards, who has taught the class for six years, said she tries

to make the class interactive and attempts to challenge her students’

creative abilities.

“It does get emotional at times because people are sharing something

very, very personal,” the 73-year-old said. “In class, there have been

tears, and many times there has been laughter.”

A typical class lasts about three hours. The first hour is spent

talking about the topic of the day. On a recent Wednesday, for example,

each student brought a piece of memorabilia from his or her past.

During the next hour, students write an episode or express a thought

or an idea. The last hour is spent sharing those stories. Each story read

by a student is instantly critiqued by another.

That Wednesday, it was time to talk about little objects from the past

that meant something to its owner.

Nilsson brought the pin she treasures. Bob Christy brought a picture

of his friends just hanging out, smoking. Other students brought objects

ranging from books they read as children to old letters, pictures and

perfume bottles.

Rick Taylor held in his hand a letter written by his grandfather in

1917 from the trenches in France during WorldWar I.

“He wrote this letter to his mother barely two weeks before he was

badly wounded,” Taylor said. “In this letter, he wrote he hoped to be

transferred. But he got wounded and had to come back to England to

recover.”

Taylor said he would like his two sons to know more about their

great-grandfather, who led an interesting life.

“He was in several places all over the world,” he said. “He was in

Turkey, Greece. The ship he was in was torpedoed in the Mediterranean. In

the process of researching my family’s past, I’ve collected a lot of

information and learned a lot about him, myself.”

Taylor said he also likes to look back at the past and dissect

incidents and scenarios.

“The writing exercise has helped me revisit some decisions I made or

some incidents or events that have happened in my life,” he said.

Taylor says it helps him stand back and look at the past objectively.

“I suddenly begin to understand why someone reacted in a particular

way in a relationship,” he said.

While the class is “mentally stimulating” for students like Taylor, it

is more fun than anything else for students like Lilian Widdowson, who

has been in the class since it started.

“I take it mostly for fun,” she said, with a chuckle. “I enjoy hearing

other people’s stories. These people are all so clever and tell such warm

stories.”

Widdowson, who is in her 90s, said she enjoys writing about her “early

years” in England.

“I grew up in a town called Birkenhead, which is across the River

Mercy from Liverpool,” she said.

A schoolteacher, Widdowson traveled to several countries before she

married and came to Southern California in 1979.

“I like to recall old times, the years I spent with my mother and

father,” she said. “I really enjoyed that life and that family. It was

fun to be with them.”

Widdowson also wrote about a pilgrimage she took to a holy place in

Spain when she was 70.

“We had to walk 50 miles to get there and camp on the way,” she said.

“It was quite a journey. And there was this young man -- he was probably

17 -- helped me carry my things. It was very nice of him.”

For Nilsson, the class virtually jogs her memory, provoking her to

think about the wonderful thoughts and memories she would like to share

with current and future members of her family.

“There have been some pleasant lookbacks and some not so pleasant,”

she said. “But when we all get together, it helps us remember things that

we may otherwise forget.”

-- Deepa Bharath covers public safety and courts. She may be reached

at (949) 574-4226 or by e-mail at o7 [email protected] .