Catalina calls for under $100

June Casagrande

If you’re reading the Daily Pilot (and I suspect you are), chances are

you don’t need someone from Santa Monica to tell you about Catalina

Island. Especially not someone making her first-ever visit to the island.

And especially not someone with a $100 expense account.

Perhaps the most Catalina-savvy community in the world, locals of the

Newport-Mesa area are the real experts at navigating (figuratively and

literally) this local island paradise.

What, then, can the above-mentioned reporter offer to the Catalina

Island visitor who has everything? How about a vacation from yourself? So

dock your yacht and put away your gold card, it’s time to take the

pauper’s tour of Catalina Island.

Your trip “Around the Island in $90” starts at the Balboa Pavilion,

where every morning the Catalina Flyer hauls everyday people to the

Catalina Island city of Avalon. Cost of the ticket: $37. Cost of knowing

in advance about Dramamine: priceless. Unfortunately, this landlubber

found out too late, suffering face-down on the table for the longest 75

minutes of her life. The only upside was that the nagging nausea

eliminates any temptation to visit the Flyer’s snack bar (not that saving

the 75 cents for a bag of Cheez-Its was worth the agony.)

Once solid ground hits the soles of your shoes, though, it doesn’t

take long for the stomach to again pose a direct threat to the

pocketbook. Not to fear, Pancake Cottage is here. Right in the center of

Avalon, you can score a short stack for just $2.95, served up by a

veteran waitress named Muriel who is, herself, a classic slice of

Americana. And while enjoying the bottomless pot of coffee parked on each

table in the tightly packed breakfast spot, you don’t have to wonder how

the other half lives. Just outside the door, window shopping for sweet

nothings are veteran visitors like Nigel and Heidi Falls-Hand and their

two toddlers, Henry and Hannah.

“We’re here a lot,” said Nigel, who co-pilots the family sailboat on

the 2 1/2-hour trip from hometown San Pedro. “A lot.”

Such experts are a wealth of information -- about what not to do.

“Oh, don’t miss the Casino,” Nigel said, explaining, for the confused

and cashless, that it’s not a gambling place but a gathering place and

dance hall. Sure, it sounds cheap. But, a word to the penny-wise, always

consider the source of such advice.

To digest such information, and the pancakes, it’s probably best to be

sitting down for a while. And nothing’s more tempting than the idea of

renting one of those fun, zippy golf carts that go for $30 an hour --

nearly a third of the day’s budget. Here’s where it’s best to know the

difference between cheapness and value. As much as it hurts to peel those

three $10 bills off the cash roll, it’s worth it. The carts are the most

fun and cost-efficient way to drink in as much of the island as possible.

At one end of the pre-mapped tour is the Wrigley Memorial & Botanical

Garden, where (read between the lines here) you insert the $5 admission

cost into a slot at the unattended (repeat, unattended) front gate. It’s

best to visit this memorial before you have any knowledge of the island’s

history. That way, you can immaturely muse about why anyone would build a

memorial to a chewing gum mogul.

June, to boyfriend Ted: “Maybe it’s just like the other gum landmarks

we’ve visited, like the tomb of Allouitious Bubbalicious.”

Ted, to June: “Or the monument to Bubba Hubba Bubba.”

Then, remembering you’re in your 30s, you regain a shred of dignity

and share mature commentary with other visitors.

“Beautiful up here, just beautiful,” noted Dan Goldfischer, visiting

from Philadelphia with brother David, who drove to Newport Beach from his

home in Las Vegas.

Exchange a few serene nods and “ahs,” then head back to Avalon to

return the cart in time to avoid the late charge. Take a walk through

Metropole Plaza, then splurge on an ice cream cone ($2.25 at Big Olaf’s)

and park on the beach for a long, long time, enjoying the show of young

children feeding sea gulls and the older children throwing rocks at them.

Then, fully rested, is when the Casino’s siren call can be heard. What

can it hurt to just walk there, take a look around?

Unfortunately, if there’s a tour about to start, it’s virtually

impossible to resist the temptation to cough up the admission price: 10

whopping dollars. (Darn that Nigel guy).

What starts as a guided tour of a really fancy movie theater becomes,

after a climb up a very steep ramp, a trip through time. The stunning

upstairs dance hall echoes with the ghosts of some of the greatest

moments in big band history, including performances by the likes of Benny

Goodman. Here also you learn that the Wrigley family is practically

synonymous with Catalina Island. Basically, they built the place. Who

knew (besides you)?

A full day and a thin wallet under your belt, it’s almost time to head

home. Just one last stop, and here, money is no object.

“Dramamine, please.”

As the pharmacist drops your purchase ($6.09 with tax) into a little

plastic bag, try to resist the temptation to hand her a $100 bill and

say, “Keep the change.”