Melissa Richardson -- REEL CRITIC

Jane Goodall is a pathetic person. Hold on, wait a minute before you

start throwing bananas; this is not the famous chimpanzee expert I’m

talking about, but a namesake.

The Goodall parents probably thought it would be cute to name their

baby girl after a successful scientist. Their little girl could use all

the help she can get. In her late twenties, she’s naive and psychotic

(both words are very kind given the situation). It’s a scary and

dangerous mix. Now, in the depths of her current craziness, she believes

that the human race has become cows and bulls.

What’s the most frightening part of Jane Goodall? She’s the main

character in the latest romantic comedy, “Someone Like You.” It shouldn’t

really be called a romantic comedy, though, because it’s neither romantic

nor comedic.

There are some good moments, but this film is mostly just painful and

insane. Don’t blame Greg Kinnear or Ashley Judd. They do an admirable job

trying to save the weak characters they’re given. The characters, though,

are excruciating.

And certainly don’t even think about disparaging Hugh Jackman. His

performance saves this pathetic film. He might be the perfect champion of

love.

Jane (Ashley Judd) doesn’t want you to see the world through happy,

rose-colored glasses. She’s too upset with men, who are nothing but evil.

So here’s the plot in the most realistic light possible. Jane meets

Ray (Kinnear). He’s a co-worker. She knows that he has a girlfriend of

three years, and that he believes that this woman is the one for him. So

Jane does what Jane does best, makes the worst possible decision and

starts dating him.

Just as they are about to move in together, he decides to break it

off. She, of course, is shocked and heartbroken. Having lost her

apartment, Jane moves in with another colleague, Eddie (Jackman), whom

she considers the sleaziest of guys because he moves through girls as

though changing shirts.

So now she must figure out why men leave women. Voila! The new cow

theory is born. In putting forth her new theory, she and her best friend

Liz (Marisa Tomei) make up a relationship expert and publish Jane’s ideas

in a magazine. She begins to talk about people as cows, and while

slightly crazy, one hopes that this is helping Jane to get over Ray.

Unfortunately, we also find out that Eddie has been hurt by a

relationship. He is ignoring the idea of love because it’s too painful.

Still, he does his absolute best to help Jane through her sorrow. They

are perfect for each other.

Then Ray pops up again, and Jane falls for it once more. Does Ray

change his ways? Will Jane finally see how much she’s missing by ignoring

Eddie? Those questions aren’t much of an incentive to go to the movie.

There isn’t much reason to see this movie, period.

“Someone Like You” does pick itself up in the end, but the only way to

realize and appreciate that is to experience the horrendous first hour

and a half. The moments between Jane and Eddie are sweet, and the scenes

with Liz and Jane are amusing. So “Someone Like You” is not a total loss.

The best way to view this new film is on video, when most of the movie

can be muted. That said, missing “Someone Like You” is not missing much.

“Someone Like You” is rated PG-13.

* MELISSA RICHARDSON is a Costa Mesa resident and a junior at UC

Irvine.