Sunday Story -- Painting a survivor’s picture
Young Chang
Valinda Martin interrupts herself as a pair of seniors pass by.
“There’s the best looking couple on the island!” she says.
“Have you been drinking again?” the husband jokes.
Martin laughs and the three friends chat.
Moments later, someone shouts out, “Hey, Valinda!”
She shouts back hello and flashes a pearl-toothed, deeply dimpled
smile.
Life is good, Martin says. Her fellow business owners on Balboa Island
know her name and she knows theirs.
These are the simple pleasures for someone paralyzed from the waist
down and confined to a wheelchair for life. Someone who experiences sharp
back pains every second of every day. It’s been seven and a half years
since the former 5-foot, 7-inch model last walked. And it’s been what
seems to be an eternity since she did something quickly and easily.
“The whole walking thing,” as she puts it, took some getting used to.
Yes, she has her bad days, but Martin’s convinced the horrible boating
accident that left her in this state was a test.
Today, she says she is a better person. The 39-year-old Corona del Mar
resident notices it’s a pretty day outside and is fortunate to have a
“wonderful” family and community.
Even her cat, Harley, makes life easier for her. The feline knows the
difference between a phone ring and a fax ring and jumps off the bed to
fetch an incoming fax and deliver it to her feet.
She and sister Jenni Martin of Sacramento laugh a lot -- to get
through the “traumas and dramas” and because they both have a “warped
sense of humor.”
Her boyfriend is Myles Elsing, whom she considered so handsome when he
lived next door to her stepmom when they were kids.
And Martin’s business, Art for the Soul, has worked wonders for her
own soul.
“So I don’t let this keep me down,” she said, gesturing to her legs.
Though her family expected her to be resilient, they’re impressed.
“It’s hard to believe she’s this OK,” said Jenni Martin, 43.
On Newport Harbor, seven Labor Day weekends ago, on the “wrong harbor,
wrong day, wrong boat, wrong wave,” Valinda Martin survived a freak
boating accident that broke her back and rendered her paralyzed. She’d
rather not go into more detail, but she’s gone through the why-me’s and
offers this answer:
“That bad things happen to good people. There is no rhyme or reason
for the way things happen. It just is what it is.”
She tells it like it is, too.
About her legs, she says, “I kinda like to think that they’re asleep.
That’s my way of being kinder to myself.”
About being in a wheelchair, or “permanently sitting,” she says, “I’m
just short. I’m still a person.”
About her effect on others, she admits, “People use me as their gage.
I’m almost their worst nightmare. They see me. If I’m OK and I’m
crippled, how can bills, kids, etc . . . be so bad?
“I don’t have as much time as I used to, so I get to the point,”
Martin said. “That’s one thing that’s frustrating about being in a
wheelchair -- everything in my life takes me longer. So I don’t waste
time.”
VALINDA’S BOX
Life was the best she’d ever had it when the accident happened, Martin
said. She was living in Los Angeles, working in women’s clothing, dating
and doing the fun (this doesn’t mean wild, she insists), single woman’s
thing.
“In my 20’s, I was with the same man, so I had just begun really
getting to know me,” Martin said.
And then in one afternoon, life changed.
She lived with her sister for nine months immediately after leaving
the hospital. Jenni Martin, who specializes in professional expert
witness work in fraud and personal injury cases, had her entire house
transformed with hand ramps, lowered counters, gutted sinks and other
accommodations. She got Martin a car -- a green Mustang convertible
adjusted with hand controls -- and encouraged her to be independent.
“We’d send her on errands to do things -- going shopping, getting in
and out of the car and going to the personal trainer so she could get
strong,” Jenni Martin said. “We took kind of a no-nonsense approach.”
Valinda Martin says her sister is the reason she’s not in the “rubber
room” today.
After a couple years, reality stepped in.
“You jump up and say, OK this is the way it’s gonna be. You don’t have
much of a choice. You either get up and do that... or die inside,” Martin
said.
She started her own business three years ago called Art for the Soul,
selling inspirational American-handcrafted items on Balboa Island. Today,
she shuffles through past and present account books because it’s tax
season and the business has thrived.
She knows and likes the artists who hand-craft her goods (she wouldn’t
sell something made by someone who wasn’t a nice person) and attends
craft conventions around the country to recruit artists.
She buys work that is whimsical, inspirational, American-hand-crafted
or colorful. She compares her method to a box. The lid would be “is it
something she likes?” And the bottom?
“There is no bottom to my box,” she said. “This store has done it
150%. It makes me get up. It gets my creative juices going. This is my
life. You like me and you like the store, or you don’t get me and you
don’t get the store.”
When she’s not working, Martin keeps up with the active,
slightly-daredevilish Elsing -- a retired helicopter pilot for the
Newport Beach Police Department who has been with Martin for five years
now. She rides in the side car of his Harley motorcycle when the two want
to feel the open air. She swims with webbed feet on her hands during
vacations to Hawaii and plans to try parasailing soon.
“I’m able to do so much, and I’m sure people would say I’m still just
as much of a pain as I was then,” Martin said, laughing.
She and Jenni Martin see each other at least once a month. If they
don’t meet in Corona del Mar or Sacramento, they’ll catch up in Palm
Springs for some golf, and Valinda Martin will drive the cart with her
sister’s putter.
Driving makes her feel good, she said. She alternates between two cars
-- a big van and a sporty little white convertible, both adjusted with
hand controls. It’s one activity that makes her feel just like everybody
else -- everyone, after all, drives sitting.
“She keeps pulling up more energy and more determination and, well,
you know, it’s very unusual for someone in her situation to live as
independently as she does,” said Amber Rohl, Martin’s mother. “She
believes that she can ride above the challenge.”
AN INDEPENDENT STREAK
Martin insists on this. She would even rather break her foot than wait
for somebody to come home and help her unload a piece of furniture from
the car.
Elsing, though, was pretty upset when this indeed happened. Martin was
trying to carry a table from the car to the house one afternoon while he
was still at work. She broke her foot and didn’t even know it until two
days later when she found her sole had turned black.
“She was always a very determined child,” Rohl said.
When she drops something a little too far from her range of reach,
she’ll sit on the edge of her chair, lock her brakes and try about 14
times to retrieve it before asking for help.
“It’s so important for me to keep my independence, which is a good
thing and a bad thing,” she said.
Martin admitted she can’t help but feel her life was not supposed to
be spent in a wheelchair.
Jenni Martin said her sister has taken what was shocking and painful
and made the best of it.
“She’s so likable that she’s like the poster girl for parapalegics,”
she said.
Sitting outside her store and looking out toward the edge of Balboa
Island, Valinda Martin makes it look easy.
“How can anyone be unhappy here? I can’t complain,” Martin said.
She takes that back.
“Actually, I can complain. But I choose not to.”
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