RETAIL ROUNDUP

Couple obligatory plugs to start things off, and then we’ll get to the

truly interesting stuff. A sports bar with all manner of high-tech

Internet facilities has opened on Anton Boulevard in Costa Mesa. It’s

called The Corner Office, and supposedly it’s been getting some pretty

good crowds for Monday Night Football.

SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF OBSOLESCENCEWhat else can we tell you? Sexton

Companies of Newport Beach is trying to help businesses deal with the

problem of constantly changing technology. They’ve developed a

“technology budget lease” program so that companies don’t have to sink

all their capital into hardware that will be out of date in six months.

TIE US UP! TIE US DOWN!

Are you still with us? Does anybody read Retail Roundup for the

business news? We certainly don’t. We read it because it’s where we get

to learn that the Neckwear Assn. of America has a Web site dedicated to

determining which presidential candidate wears cooler ties. As of press

time Wednesday, Bush was leading Al Gore by 14 points, with Ralph Nader

picking up only a measly 6% of the vote. We’re not sure we believe this

survey is for real, but at any rate it’s on the Web at o7

https://www.modernman.com/clothesf7 .

976-TURKEY

And if that doesn’t make you happy, try calling the Butterball Turkey

Talk-Line 2000. The line, at 1-800-323-4848, will be open for your

turkey-related inquiries starting Nov. 1. Butterball suggests you call

and ask questions like “What’s the best way to thaw a turkey?” But we

have come up with some alternative questions that might be more fun:

1. Our turkey is naked. What is your turkey wearing?

2. Why is it that we want to be slowly basted in melted butter?

3. Can Kierkegaard’s theory of “the teleological suspension of the

ethical” help us remove giblets from the body of the turkey? Because

that’s really gross, and we have trouble with it.

The Turkey Talk-Line has been operational for 20 years, we note. But

there are probably a lot of questions the helpful operators have never

heard before. We at Retail Roundup think the time has come to ask those

questions.

Good luck to you all.