RON DAVIS -- Through My Eyes

You just never know what you’re going to get when you move next to a

wildlife area, do you? If I moved into a home near the Bolsa Chica mesa

and wetlands, I would expect to find aluminum beer cans, Styrofoam cups

and those plastic thingamajigs that hold six-packs together. But

wildlife? Not a chance.

It comes as a complete shock to read that there are actually skunks and

opossums wandering in the residential neighborhoods in close proximity to

these areas. Now that I know that, I can understand why those communities

need to eradicate this menace by trapping them.

As a lawyer, I take cases and earn huge fees in cases where the property

owners sell their property to others without making a full and complete

disclosure. Just a hunch here, but it’s my guess that the prior owners

never disclosed to the current owners that there might actually be

wildlife living in a wildlife area.

To me, it’s kind of like moving next to an airport. Who’d ever guess that

there’d be planes at an airport?

For those of you who weren’t told there’d be actual living things in a

wildlife area, don’t walk but run to your local law office and file suit

immediately.

Some people might call that eradicating a skunk by going to one, but I

won’t get into that in this column.

So far, those of you living near these wildlife areas have shown great

restraint by not resorting to the courts but by resorting to traps. I

can’t imagine anything worse than being near an area where wildlife

actually lives.

Oh, on second thought, I think I can -- stinky skunks and ugly opossums

who have the temerity to actually invade our neighborhoods for food.

Cathy Francis, public education officer for Orange County Animal Control,

tells me opossums don’t attack much of anything other than rotting fruit

and vegetables, and perhaps some pet food left out overnight. She

referred to the opossum as an “environmental sanitation engineer” because

they clean up all of the scraps in the area. But, wow can they be ugly.

And last thing we need in our neighborhoods is something that isn’t

visually appealing.

Oh, and those skunks. What are they thinking wandering around at night

eating fruit and eggs? Why, if you leave your refrigerator door open for

just a moment, a skunk is likely to be in there in a heartbeat whipping

up a three-egg omelet, and then raising a stink if you catch him.

I like to think of myself as a problem solver.

We all recognize that even if we trap the skunks and the opossums,

there’s always a few that get away. Next thing you know, they’ll be

propagating, back next year -- a vicious life cycle.

Now I ask you, how many skunks and opossums do you see at Huntington

Center or Edison Field? None. That’s how many.

Have you noticed how the asphalt creates a moat protecting the buildings

and the inhabitants from these creatures? Obviously, both skunks and

opossums are scared silly of asphalt. Thank goodness we’re not.

We need to load up a bunch of dump trucks with tons and tons of asphalt

and cover the wetlands and the mesa. It would actually be a darned good

idea to include the backyards and frontyards of those living in the

vicinity.

Those pesky rascals would be gone in no time, and the residents in the

area could sit on their front porches and admire the beauty of a

Styrofoam cup or an empty beer can skipping across the tranquil expanse.

We’re talking about a little slice of heaven here, aren’t we?

* RON DAVIS is a private attorney who lives in Huntington Beach. He can

be reached by e-mail at o7 [email protected]