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* EDITOR’S NOTE: The Reel Critics column features movie critiques written

by community members serving on our panel.

Fine cast saves plot in ‘Happy, Texas’

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the movie “Happy Texas.” There’s

also nothing unpredictable about “Happy, Texas” once the initial

situation is established.

Two minor criminals escape from a bus, which was taking them to prison.

They manage to find a way to “disappear” by assuming the roles of two gay

beauty pageant producers on their way to put on a children’s beauty

pageant in the small town of Happy, Texas. Chances are that in 10 minutes

any regular filmgoer could anticipate all the major plot elements.

What saves this film from the absolutely routine is its cast. How on

earth so many fine actors were persuaded to join this cast, I’ll never

know, but I hope they were well paid. The fact that this movie has been

around in theaters since October is primarily due to their skills and

wholehearted enthusiasm. And what a cast: Jeremy Northam, Steve Zahn,

William H. Macy, Ally Walker and Illeana Douglas. This is the same Jeremy

Northam who was so suavely British in “Emma” with Gwyneth Paltrow. And of

course, give William H. Macy five lines in a film and he’ll create a

character you’ll never forget.

But the biggest surprise and joy was Zahn in a comic performance that

lifted the whole children’s beauty pageant plot line out of the ordinary

into the sublime.

If you’re looking for an Oscar-caliber production, “Happy, Texas” is

probably not the one to choose. However, if you want a pleasant afternoon

or evening in the company of a truly fine cast, I can indeed recommend

this film.

* JUNE FENNER, a Costa Mesa resident in her late 50s, is vice president

of a work force training company.

Let freedom ring in ‘Crazy in Alabama’

Conveying two dismal ‘60s ways-of-life in the same movie and not leave

the audience befuddled was a formidable task for Antonio Banderas’

directorial debut.

First he tackles spousal abuse: Lucille (Melanie Griffith), a wacky

southern bombshell in a jet-black wig and high heels, mother of 7, has

just lopped off the head of her abusive husband. Leaving her kids with

her bedraggled mom, Lucille is off to Hollywood to become an actress.

Unable to shrug herself of her husband’s controlling nature, she packs up

his head in a plastic container and takes him along. While having to

flirt and flaunt herself around, you feel compassion for this woman

setting out on this Hollywood absurdity. Town Sheriff John Doggett (Meat

Loaf Aday) is hot on her trail, since nothing ever happens in his town.

Lucille’s Hollywood TV appearance of course lands her in jail. As always

(Rod Steiger) the outlandish trial Judge Mead delivers a hysterical

resourceful performance. Spousal abuse was hush hush in the ‘60s, but the

Judge sure gave it priority since he was taken in by Lucille’s charm. The

audience cheered on his decisions and applauded his “Shut up” retorts.

We say you’re “crazy” not to go see this movie. You get two for the price

of one.

* GAY WASSALL-KELLY, 59, is the editor of a Balboa newspaper and is

active in the community. BILL KELLY, 58, is an industrial engineer.

‘The Omega Code’ misses the mark

I love apocalyptic biblical literature. You know, the good stuff -- the

mark of the beast, “666,” the false prophet, the abomination of

desolation.

The “Left Behind” series by Tim LaHaye dramatizing this stuff has been on

the New York Times bestseller list for years, so when I heard that a

movie had come out dealing with this subject matter, I was very

interested. In fact, I really wanted this movie to be good. It had so

much potential. Unfortunately, all Omega Code aspired to was mediocrity.

Caspar Van Dien of “Startroopers” fame plays Gillen Lane, a Tony

Robbins-like inspirational speaker/writer who is also an expert of the

Bible Codes -- a popular system of gleaning hidden messages from the

Hebrew text of the Old Testament.

Stone Alexander (Michael York) is an ultra-wealthy

philanthropist/politician who has found a secret way to use the codes to

foretell the future and manipulate circumstances so as to accomplish his

megalomaniacal campaign to conquer the world.

After taking Lane as his “prophet,” Stone finds a way to end world hunger

and to finally heal the Israeli/Palestinian conflict (the Temple of

Solomon is rebuilt and Palestinians get their state -- why didn’t I

think of that?) World leaders accept Stone as their savior.

After Stone is killed and then rises from the dead as the apocalyptic

beast (Satan incarnate), Stone takes on a godlike aura and continues his

exploits. Lane defects, has a spiritual awakening (during which he

realizes that he should be fighting against Satan), and starts behaving

like a proper protagonist by fighting to stop Stone.

It pains me that “Omega Code” so sadly missed the mark in its attempted

portrayal of the biblical end of time. The dialogue was contrived, the

plot was choppy and hard to follow, the cinematography was subpar and the

ending was abrupt and confusing. Maybe next time.

* BRADLEY KIRK, 32, is a Corona del Mar resident and civil litigation and

estate planning attorney.

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