THE BELL CURVE -- joseph n. bell

Some of the pieces of our life exist in perpetual limbo -- and we grow

accustomed to them there. Underachievement by the Anaheim Angels.

Unshakable positions on the El Toro airport. The absence of the National

Football League in the greater Los Angeles area. And, of course, futile

efforts to annex Santa Ana Heights by the city of Newport Beach.

That’s been going on for as long as I can remember -- and I go back a

long way. I had breakfast with Bob Shelton the other day and he told me

it was being seriously considered when he was Newport Beach’s city

manager four decades ago. It was a perennial topic during my regular

lunches with Don Strauss 20 years later when he was a city councilman and

later mayor. Talk, talk, talk. But no action.

Now the issue is firing up again, seriously enough that a public hearing

will take place on Oct. 25. Some new elements -- tax income from

burgeoning commercial construction, a need to beef up the opposition to

any enlargement of John Wayne Airport, for example -- seem to have caught

the city’s attention.

And so the city fathers apparently intend to court us again -- the ugly

girl with braces on her teeth and body odor who has come into an

attractive inheritance. Last week, the Orange County Register described

Santa Ana Heights as “an area zoned for dogs and horses (where) neighbors

keep kennels and corrals in their back yards, producing a country smell

of manure.” In other words, we stink -- an assessment we long felt was

shared rather generally in Newport Beach.

Given all these new considerations, I decided it was time to check out

feelings about annexation among the citizens of Santa Ana Heights --

especially since opposition by 25% of the residents would force an

election. Because I’ve lived in Santa Ana Heights for l5 years, I feel

uniquely qualified to conduct a thoroughly unprofessional, highly

restricted and numerically retarded survey among my neighbors.

I asked l4 of them: Do you want to have Santa Ana Heights annexed by

Newport Beach? The results: Four categorical ‘No’s’; three categorical

‘Yes’s’; two ‘yes, but’s’; one ‘maybe’; one ‘don’t have enough

information on the issues’; one ‘indifferent’; and one ‘who cares? I just

rent here.’ If you’re counting, I’m the l4th, and we’ll get around to me

later.

Two themes ran through all these conversations, one pro, the other con.

Those who favored annexation universally cited the prospect of increased

property values. Those who opposed it feared an enforced change in a

lifestyle they enjoy. Those who were undecided vacillated between these

two positions while pointing out other perceived benefits or drawbacks.

A few of their comments provide a flavor of the answers I received.

“It’s not a good thing either way. I don’t want to lose what we have now,

but I want to be assured of remaining in this school district and

maintaining property values”;

“There’s no regimentation now, and I don’t want it because it would

change the character of the neighborhood. But I’m certain that annexation

would raise property values in the long term”;

“I have mixed reactions. I don’t want to lose the small-town feeling of

watching horses walk by in front of my house”;”I’m happy in the country”;

“I’m for it if it increases property values and strengthens the Newport

Beach position on the airport”.

Which brings it around to me. I am one of the categorical ‘No’s.’ I find

quality of life a lot more persuasive than the possibility of increased

property values. Although the great preponderance of the residents here

take meticulous care of their property and there is a good deal of

upgrading taking place, the lifestyle in Santa Ana Heights is

nevertheless a kind of beneficent, delightful -- and occasionally

irritating -- chaos.

I’ve written about my neighborhood many times, and it hasn’t changed. In

the past few months, I’ve had a young neighbor come home in early

evening, see my keys in the front door, worry about my well-being, get

another neighbor to go in the house with him to make sure I was all

right, find it empty, and leave a note on my door telling me where to

find my keys.

Another neighbor spotted my mail atop my car where I absent-mindedly left

it and put it back in my mailbox when I didn’t answer the door. Two other

neighbors installed an overhead garage door while I was at a baseball

game so my wife could surprise me with a birthday gift.

These aren’t isolated acts; they go on all the time. They represent a

spirit that permeates this area, and a lot of us are highly suspicious

that the Newport Beach presence will infect it fatally.

Admittedly, we pay a price for that freewheeling chaos. I don’t enjoy

horse manure in front of my driveway or properties that have been turned

into wastelands, but I prefer dealing with that to the regimentation that

a lot of us associate with Newport Beach.

I think if it ever came to a vote, it would be a close call. But it

hasn’t gotten that far in 50 years, and I’m dubious that it will now. I

suppose if they do take us over, the place will smell better to that

reporter from the Register.

* JOSEPH N. BELL is a Santa Ana Heights resident. His column runs

Thursdays.