Fitness Files: The big food difference between men and women

I’m into the chocolate chips again. Just ate another handful. After months of leaving an unopened bag with the baking goods, I’ve finished that bag and ripped into another.

My husband, in contrast, recently stood by his closet holding foil wrapped chocolates. “See these?” he asked. “I keep ‘em to prove my self control.”

He just lost 14 pounds. Simply decided and from that day on he ate smaller portions. Period.

No reading about diets.

No looking longingly at desserts.

No sneaking chips.

No feeling deprived.

No cutting carbs or proteins or gluten.

He comes from another galaxy.

I’ve been married to him 43 years but have no idea how a homo sapiens does what he did.

By the way, he has a long history of pigging out. At buffets I’d glare at him, his plate piled so high it took the former body builder he was to haul it to the table. His expanded belly told the tale of heavy dinner-plate lifting.

But then, he stopped — weight slid off, belly deflated, and now his golf swing serves up scores in the low 80s while his new waist size is in the low 30s.

I’m slim but my relationship to food is complicated. My pig-out tendencies are tempered by distance running, reading about food, irritating my family by lecturing about food and writing about food.

Lets look at gender differences regarding eating, but first I’ll disclose: I was raised in the ‘50s and ‘60s when girls were supposed to be “good.” The ideal was: pure, ladylike, exhibiting self-control. Toni Grant, a ‘70s radio psychologist, used to say that binge-eating represented “good girl’s” rebellion. That fit.

Articles on male/female differences in eating habits agree with todaysdietician.com: “Men are protected from body dissatisfaction” because they identify themselves as light even if they are overweight, which seems to protect them from “body image disturbances” such as anorexia. Men’s societal concerns center on being “underweight, scrawny.” The male ideal is “muscular … brawny.” Men perceive heft as power.

Men see eating as fuel.

Now for women. Open any fashion magazine for the female ideal: underweight. In “Gender Differences…” Harvard.edu says, “Woman’s negative attitudes toward overweight” seem to be associated with “lower ... self esteem.” The Harvard article names woman’s “undue influence of weight in self-evaluation.”

All 5 feet of me at my lean weight will never be model-tall with yards of leg, arm and long torso. I literally fall short of the ideal no matter what I eat or don’t, so I might as well pig out. Cdn.inchopen.com says, “Some women “are likely to experience a constant internal conflict between the desire of being slim or slimmer and the drive for certain ‘forbidden’ food … often affected by the problem of craving,” and “Women are more often emotional eaters … scoring lower than men when estimating their ability to succeed in reaching a specific weight goal.”

My research came down to PubMed’s figures: “Five times as many women were not satisfied with their weight and body image as men. Twice as many women as men felt the overweight condition had a moderate to strong effect on their self-esteem. Women thought about overeating and felt guilty when eating twice as often as men.”

My husband probably thought he was pleasingly muscular before his weight loss decision but, for health reasons, decided lean was better than fat. “I’m satisfied,” he says, pushing away his plate. He eats for fuel, not happiness, so cutting food intake wasn’t a reach. His self-esteem only grew higher with weight loss.

My goal to shed pounds would be harder. It makes me happy when I eat, a momentary pressure release. Paul gave up big portions, I’d give up happiness.

Having said that, I did take off excess weight years ago and kept it off. I got the knack of exercise and found its social and physical rewards greater than sneaking food in the corner of my kitchen.

Almost. Craving fun-eating I rebel against the skinny ideal. Pass the chocolate chips.

Newport Beach resident CARRIE LUGER SLAYBACK is a retired teacher who ran the Los Angeles Marathon at age 70, winning first place in her age group. Her blog is [email protected].