Reel Critics: ‘Mortdecai’: painful, pitiful and pointless

It’s only January, but you can already see what may be the worst big-budget movie of 2015 at a theater near you. “Mortdecai” is a pitiful attempt to reprise the near-dead genre of British madcap farce. It’s based on a series of comic thriller novels published in the 1970s.

Charles Mortdecai is an upper-class English twit, art dealer and sometime scoundrel. Johnny Depp plays him with silly mannerisms and a phony English accent that is downright embarrassing. He delivers enough bad acting in this one role to fill up five more pointless, failed movies.

In tax trouble with the government, he embarks on a ridiculous escapade to track down a stolen Goya painting to solve his financial problems. The details are too improbable and too stupid to recount. Depp seems to want to create a new Inspector Clouseau or Austin Powers character, but he fails miserably.

The fine talents of Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor are completely wasted in this lame effort. Seriously dated and painfully unfunny, this film rolls across the screen with frenetic action devoid of any actual humor.

—John Depko

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Oscar buzz around the women

I always look forward to the announcing of the Oscar nominations, if only to see if my personal picks get validation. To be fair, I make it a point to see all the nominees in the major categories. Let’s start with Best Actress, now that all five ladies can be seen in local theaters:

Julianne Moore has the title role in “Still Alice,” a deeply affecting story about a linguistics professor diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Terror, anger and heart-wrenching vulnerability are some of the emotions conveyed in a realistic manner. Alec Baldwin is excellent as her husband, but Kristen Stewart (of the “Twilight” series) is the big surprise in the role of Alice’s youngest daughter. Who knew she could act? The film ends with just the two of them, and I smiled through tears.

“Two Days, One Night” is based on a simple premise. After being on a leave of absence for depression, a woman finds out she’s being laid off. Sandra (Marion Cotillard) is devastated, but with the support of her husband and a friend, she decides to personally speak to 16 co-workers over one weekend to win her job back. It’s a humbling challenge, and Sandra is prone to self-defeating moods. Her delicate state of mind is put to the ultimate test.

Rosamund Pike, in “Gone Girl,” gave the most startling performance of the year. She proved the perfect actress for the elusive role of Ben Affleck’s devil-or-angel wife.

Felicity Jones is lovely as Stephen Hawking’s first wife in “The Theory of Everything” and great to watch as she blossoms from girl to tower of strength.

Reese Witherspoon plays real-life author Cheryl Strayed on a journey of self-discovery in “Wild.” It’s a physically and mentally challenging role, and the character is not likable.

So who should get the golden statue? I always root for the underdog, so my pick would be Pike — she pulled off this year’s best surprise at the movies. But I’d also be pleased if Moore finally got an Oscar. Cheers to all.

—Susanne Perez

JOHN DEPKO is a retired senior investigator for the Orange County public defender’s office. He lives in Costa Mesa and works as a licensed private investigator. SUSANNE PEREZ lives in Costa Mesa and is an executive assistant for a company in Irvine.